


Everything Is As It Should Be

by tlakht



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Established Relationship, M/M, Old Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 13:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14812635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tlakht/pseuds/tlakht
Summary: Every night, Cas offers to stay – to make himself invisible to the staff and watch over Dean while he sleeps. Dean always refuses; Cas deserves better, deserves more than spending every minute of his time on a decrepit old man. This night, however, Cas doesn’t ask. “I’m staying with you tonight, Dean.”





	Everything Is As It Should Be

Cas visits every day. He still looks as young as the day they met, untouched by time, and it pulls at Dean’s heart every time he sees him. Dean’s own body is old, deteriorating; he’s unable to get out of bed by himself now, but it hasn’t stopped Cas from loving him – the fool. He’ll still kiss Dean, sometimes, when the nursing assistants aren’t looking. They think Cas is Dean’s devoted son, spending every moment he can with his bedridden father. Little do they know Cas is the love of his fucking life.

Every night, Cas offers to stay – to make himself invisible to the staff and watch over Dean while he sleeps. Dean always refuses; Cas deserves better, deserves more than spending every minute of his time on a decrepit old man. This night, however, Cas doesn’t ask. “I’m staying with you tonight, Dean.”

Dean nods. There’s no need to ask why. “So this is it? Now we just wait?”

Cas takes his hand. “Now we wait.”

Dean feels like he should have a thousand questions to ask, but he only has two. “How?” He’s no stranger to this, has lost count of all the times it’s happened to him, but it’s always been… violent. Never like this.

One of Cas’s hands, the one not joined with his own, comes up to cover his heart. “It’s ready to give up soon.” Dean nods, satisfied with the answer. It’s not a bad way to go.

The next question is the important one, the one that means everything to Dean. “Will you be there, after? The real you?” It’s absurd, that they’ve never talked about this before, but here they are. Maybe Dean’s just always been afraid of the answer. It terrifies him, now. It’s not Cas’s willingness to be there Dean questions; Cas’s devotion knows no bounds. However, Dean doesn’t know if it’s even possible. Soulmates are allowed to share a heaven, but does it count when one of the individuals has no soul?

Cas smiles and strokes Dean’s cheek. “No one could ever keep me away.” Cas has never lied to him in all the time they’ve been together, but his smile trembles and doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Dean doesn’t know whether the words really mean “no” or “I don’t know” or “I’ll do everything in my power to find a way”; he only knows they’re not the truth, and his heart clenches.

He sees Billie in the corner of the room, and maybe he should be flattered that Death herself is here to see him off. He doesn’t care, though – not when this short moment may be all the remaining time he has left with Cas, for all of eternity.

Eternity. It’s impossible for Dean to even grasp how long that is, with his human mind. Cas probably can.

Billie approaches his bed, and Dean knows he no longer has any bargaining chips with her – that there’s nothing he can do or say now that will buy him more time. Instead, he just squeezes Cas’s hand and searches the angel’s eyes – for what, Dean doesn’t even know. Hope, maybe, but he’s not sure he sees any. Billie remains blissfully silent, refraining from gloating over finally getting to reap Dean Winchester, the man who’s screwed Death over more times than any other. Maybe she has a soft spot for those dying of old age. Or those whose heart is breaking.

A nursing assistant walks into the room, but Dean ignores the man, putting a trembling hand on the back of Cas’s neck. He lacks the strength he used to have, but Cas goes willingly, and Dean gets to feel his angel’s lips on his own once more. Something wet touches his cheekbone, and it could have spilled from either himself or Cas – it’s hard to tell. “I love you, Dean,” Cas whispers, and Dean is about to respond in kind when he feels a cold touch on his arm.

***

Dean wakes up, sunlight streaming in from the window onto his pillow. He looks around, disoriented for a second, but there’s no reason to be, because this is his bedroom – his and Cas’s, in the house they’ve lived in for… how long, now? Years. It’s old and small, but it’s theirs and it’s perfect. He turns around, and even though Cas doesn’t sleep, he’s there in the bed next to Dean, just like he is every morning. “Good morning, Dean,” he says, smiling, and Dean allows himself to fall into a sweet, pleasant good morning kiss. He feels like he’s forgetting something, but he shrugs it off. If it’s something important, he’ll remember it later; there’s no need to ruin this moment with insignificant things. This is perfect. Everything is perfect.


End file.
